• Clean one thing
• Do one thing to further the house improvement outside of cooking/cleaning
• Do one thing that makes me uncomfortable
• Check one thing off my to do list
• Get outside in any capacity
• Get baby outside in any capacity
• Move my body in any capacity
• Eat one vegetable, one protein, one fruit
• Express gratitude for one thing
• Connect with one human outside of my partner, baby and mother
• Do one thing to connect with my partner
• Do one thing to connect with myself spiritually
• Refrain from purchasing one thing I feel I need to buy today
• Learn one new thing
• Acknowledge one thought of self judgement. Let it melt away
• Take my medicine
• Enjoy unlimited time loving on baby
• Give baby to partner and do one thing by self
• Celebrate any and all of the above that I do each day

And on the seventh day
She created.

Not without fear,
But also with trust
In herself
And her dreams,

And with bravery
In each keystroke

Wrinkled hands
Grasping one another.
Knobby knuckles
Thin skin.

These hands
Have held each other
For decades.

This simple moment
Splits the sky
Shatters mountains
Is the key
To questions unanswered.

These old, fragile hands,
Attached to tired, sagging frames,
Have the tightest grip on earth.

Nothing can separate these hands.
Not time, or age,
Space, or event.

These hands,
Together
Are love.

The soul-shaking
Gut-wrenching
Universe-making kind.

These hands,
Together
Are forever.

I’ve never danced so much

in my life.

Let’s keep dancing

through this life

together.

Do you remember?
We sang Sweet Annie on the drive home,
Me at the wheel,
At the top of our lungs
we spun our love story,

Wait, that was just me.

Do you remember?
I melted into your embrace
That cold lonely night, you wiped my tears
and walked the pavement by my side.

Your electric smile
Split me in two
In the July turf heat.
God, it was good to see you.

It wasn’t just me.

We danced on the line,
That boozy fall night.
You leaned in, twice
Then told me about her.

Will you ever be mine? I call into the silence,

The silence answers, It’s just me.

No expectations

No judgment

Just movement.

Bursting with gratitude,

Overflowing with love.

Bittersweet goodbyes,

I will miss you.

Thank you for everything

Sing me a song, so sad and slow,
sing from your heart, however it goes.

Write me a poem, so soft and sweet,
tell me the words, then let our lips meet.

Pour me a mug, of bitter hot joe,
in my favorite mug, this one you know.

Rub my back gently, we lay side-by-side,
wish me sweet dreams, and whisper goodnight.

Tell me you love me, in so many ways,
and I’ll tell you too, for all of our days.

Burst of light
Splitting through the darkness.

This one’s for you,
For you are the light in my darkness
After all these years.

My wish I’ll never tell,
But this one’s for you.

Slice a fresh lemon wedge. The knife glides smoothly through the cold fruit.

I squeeze gently before dropping it into my over-sized mason jar.

Next, ice. So much ice. Flick the faucet and top it off with water.

Pull the kitchen drawer and add a tall, stainless steel straw with a flourish.

I take a long sip followed by a pause,

The cold, barely citrusy flavor washes over me.

I pad over to my desk and start my morning.

They’re judging me, they’re judging me, they’re judging me.

Stop.

Live your truth unapologetically.

You don’t exist to please others. The guilt is hurting you and only you.

Have confidence in your decisions.

Only you know what is right for yourself.

How did we get here, boy?

In the best times these walls swelled with love, joy, laughter.
You held your wife close here
You brought your sons home from the hospital to my secure embrace.
You became a family,
You made this house a home.

But then the sparks began to ignite,
Small at first- furtive glances and snide remarks
Soon became climbing flames and billowing smoke of lies, deception, shouting and tears.

You burned me from the inside out, used the memories as kindling.
Until
There
Was
Nothing
Left
But these four walls.

Destroyed me forever, I was a casualty of your destruction.
There is no more home without a family inside.

And yet
You both stayed
In this charred skeleton of a structure,
A hollow monument to your old life.

Fourteen long months you lived amongst the rubble and glowing embers.
Telling yourselves and the boys it was okay,
To my dismay, you continued to call these ruins home.

I know your intentions are pure,
My walls weep for you as you cling to your old life, just as you cling to me—even though neither exist anymore.
I watch in despair.
I observe the pain in the curve of your shoulders, the love in your voice as you play with your sons, the contempt in your cursory interactions with your still-wife.

And finally, I’ve had enough.
I evict this sad, broken family with a deafening crack.
I shudder under the weight of sadness.
You’re not welcome here anymore. This house is not a home, this family is no longer one.

Start over my remains whisper to the soles of your shoes,
As you stand amidst the rubble.

Let go, son. It’s time.
This isn’t the ending, it’s the start of a new beginning.
Your sons love you.
You’ve found someone new- she loves you too.
Let the past go. It’s okay to be scared.
Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.

You’re welcome, and I’ll miss you too.

Saying, “I love you” multiple times a day and meaning it each and every time.

It’s not a reflex or a formality,

it’s a profession, a promise,

a sprinkle of water on the beautiful thing we’re growing together called us.

It’s an expression of gratitude and caring.

It’s a smile rolled up in a phrase.

It’s so simple yet so vast. Three little words hold the endless ocean of us.

Let go and and fall into the beat.
Let the sound soak into my bones.
Feel it wash over my consciousness.

Feelings melt away.
I am the music.

All other senses give way.
The world doesn’t matter.
Nothing else exists.

Me and beat.
Me and the words.
Me and motion.
Me and the song.
We are one.

Breathe in,
let go.

Everything’s going to be okay.

You were a bright burst of joy,

careening into our bubble of gloom.

Overflowing source of comfort and love.

Thank you for thrusting me into the temperate morning air.

Thank you for your wet-chinned embraces.

Thank you for giving me purpose.

I miss you already. Until next time.

It hurts to think about how much I love and appreciate you both.

I cherish fleeting moments of home shared with you.

I wish I could stay longer.

I wish I could hug you.

I wish I didn’t have to be scared to touch you.

I love you more than you know.

Please make it out the other end of this with me.

I don’t want to go through this life any way but with you.

The Love
“Here!” I look up anxiously from my phone and scan the sidewalk.
I spot a red jacket paired with a goofy, unassuming saunter.
My stomach turns. I smile and give a quick wave.
Will this be awkward? I wonder.

LOVE Park
I feel the heat of the fire against my left cheek, the cool autumn air on my right.
I take a pull of sweet, cinnamon hot cocoa,
and laugh at the story you tell.
The conversation is easy, the liquor helps.

Love City Brewing
We make our way down a dark road.
“I would never walk this street at night,” I say,
but can’t deny feeling safe next to you.
We play darts, we drink.
While you’re in the bathroom I text my friend, “I’m having a lot of fun, and he’s great, but I can’t tell if there’s chemistry between us.”
We leave at last call.

Love Factory
“Urban Saloon?” you offer.
“Let’s head back to your place,” I suggest.

Love-Struck
We stand side by side in a bustling cafe,
waiting for our coffee.
You lips unexpectedly brush my cheek.
We walk home, hand in hand in pocket.

Beginning of Forever
Strangers become lovers,
house becomes home,
you and I become us.

“Tell me how you’re feeling right now,” he offers gently, holding me to his chest.
Hopeless, my heart whispers.
I bury my tear-soaked face in his shirt.
“Sad,” I reply finally.

I am so sorry
we couldn’t save you.
Time and luck were against us. The system has been against you from the beginning.

I am so sorry
for giving you hope just to rip it from you,
for letting you and your family down,
for dangling a shot at life just outside your grasp then snatching it away.

I didn’t snatch it away.
We did everything we could.
We did.
Didn’t we?
Yes.

I am so sorry.

The fight isn’t over, but the outlook’s grim.
We lost this battle-
didn’t even make it to the battle ground.
Where do we go from here?
It is time for me to leave.

I love you.
You are more than a number,
you are a friend.
I’ll never forget you.

I am so sorry.