Here We Are.

Woman, millennial, daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, partner, nurse, researcher, student, athlete, individual, human, living being, soul.

There are all these categories created to define us, yet do we ever feel like we truly fit neatly into any of them? I didn’t know it yet, but Full But Not Satisfied was conceived at my sister’s Bachelorette party in the beautiful Finger Lakes region. After a long day of touring wineries around Keuka Lake, the crushing reality (and associated existential dread) that I was not far behind her, in combination with a day’s worth of wine, drove me to text my long lost crush asking if we’d ever end up together.

Although I didn’t find my prince charming that weekend, I felt more liberated than I had in years. Soon after that taste of freedom, I broke up with my live-in boyfriend, and booked a last-minute flight to join my girlfriends for a long weekend in Paris. There, I found myself in an odd air bnb situation with a kind, fascinating stranger. Over the next few days, we spent our nights together, passionately discussing big ideas that haunted humanity- who are we? Is there a higher power? Why are we here? And, naturally, the fact that women are perpetually accepting, no CHOOSING a state of being that can no better be described as “full-but-not-satisfied.” We pointed out couples in the street, in the jazz bar, saying, ‘he’s thinking about getting lucky tonight. She, she’s full but not satisfied.’ We came up with chapters to the book I would write with this exact title. He reminded me that men can be respectful and caring, even when they are not looking for a sexual dividend. I returned home, determined to continue seizing the scared-but-doing-it-anyway moments like my spontaneous trip to Paris.

Months later, feeling the suffocating depression of quarantine seeping in around me, I was listened to Glennon Doyle’s latest book on tape, titled Untamed. She brought me to tears with her truth and beauty. I thought, ‘damn, no need to write my book after all- Glennon’s gone and done it for me!’ I should have known better.. a few weeks later, on one of her daily Instagram videos, she spoke about how she began writing. She said, ‘you know you’re a writer if you are jealous of other writers.’ That was a gut punch. She then said she started writing by creating a blog. A few days later, and your girl has gone and made a blog.

I created this blog because I was a little girl who loved to write poems and stories, because I feel more myself and understand myself more than ever through the written word, and because I owe it to myself and that little girl to put my ideas out into the world. To not settle for an existence marked by feeling Full But Not Satisfied. And with that, Here We Are.